My love for Ueda is finally being tested - but I question myself, WHY NOW.
I got enought things going on, and a major change on Ueda's appearance was not what my dear brain needed.
I guess that tomorrow, my brain will be clouded with bright and sparkling fairies. Then, I am going to freak out like crazy and finally accept the truth.
The problem is not that I totally adore his hair and especially his curls, the problem is that I probably will die because of all fangirls raging on this happening.
I will be so mad at them if they start their raging or anything like that. Not that I haven't spazzed about it and complained to every soul I know, but.......everyone I know knows that I support his best anyways.
I seriously want to cry and rage and ....complain like crazy. I WANT TO. My heart and soul cries and hurts so much, but my mind tells me: "It's just his hair, Ueda is still Ueda, and remember, you started loving him for his music."
YESYESYESYES, I know, alright? The thing is, no matter how much I love Ueda's music and personality, his appearance and hair have been such a big part of his past that it's hard to ignore it. We all undergo changes every time we change our hairstyle, for Ueda, I think his changes has been a big part of his life and style, not only because he's an idol, but being an idol must crave big needs and attention and all that shit.
It would be awful if you finally find a style you like and you feel comfortable in it and then suddenly your boss come and says that you have to change it, because the rest of the world doesn't like it.
I can't tell if Ueda ever liked his fairy-boy image, and I can't tell if all of his smiles are fake, but during the past years, he's been so much more cheerful and lovely than I've ever seen him before. He broke through his emo-phase and went into the growing phase.... should I just consider this new style (except for the drama thingy) as a result of his growing?
He's a man, I know, a very handsome man indeed, with muscles that one would only dream about, but there's still something about him that makes him... not a man - not in a bad way, because..... the non-manly traits he possesses are completing him. What others lack, he has, what he lack, they have.
I say as I always say; imperfection makes perfect.
Oh my love, why. Let me just go through this nicely, and hope that no one notices that my opinions changes between the lines all the time.
Still, I don't know if I should cry of happiness or out of sadness.
Maybe madness.
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